10 Reasons (not) to date a snowboarder
So, you decided to spend a winter-season on the mountains, everything is ready, you have a nice accommodation (If not read Accommodation in Zillertal, Everything You Need to Now) and hopefully also a decent job ( How to find a Job in Zillertal). Sounds good, but keep reading if you want our last piece of advice…
You might meet them at the snowpark, on the slopes or at the Après-ski, or maybe you can find them partying all night at the local pub. They travel. And they travel a lot. Maybe too much. So… just a piece of advice: Don’t date a snowboarder! And these are our 10 reasons to NOT date a snowboarder:
1. SNOWBOARD GOGGLES FIT EVERYONE
Ah, yes. This one is a classic. Is it your first time on a season? Out there on the snow, their facemasks will make them all look really attractive. But don’t you dare to say we didn’t warn you on this one because “everything looks the same in the dark!”. You might fall in love with the “cutie” of the fresh goggles and brand-new outfit that rips the park non-stop. If you haven’t seen their face yet, stop your heart right there. You might get disappointed, because a good ski goggle suits everyone.
2. IF YOU ARE INTO GIRLS, IT’S HARDER
That’s a legendary animal, a rare specie. For every 10 guys on the snow, there might be only 2-3 chicks (maximum). What we mean is that it is still a well male-dominated sport. And girls might also look cool, have an athletic body and a perfect smile. But, see sections 1 to 10 of this post. They all think and act alike. None of them scapes.
3. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR SENSITIVE HEARTS
You can pretend to be the coolest one out there. You might say that you don’t care but deeply inside of you, you do know it’s not just a rock what beats under your chest. Snowboarders are just the coolest kind of humans around there: they are rad, free and careless, all the necessary ingredients for an explosive mixture. And, in case you are the jealous kind of person: “Oh, Honey, don’t date a snowboarder!”. They are just there to have fun and enjoy their season. So you might think that you are in a relationship until the next night, when you go out and they are making out with a different person. Things can get ugly from that point on. So don’t waste your time on them or be clear from the start.
4. STABILITY? WHAT’S THAT?
They move with the seasons and they will always do. Don’t try to change them. They just won’t. They don’t want a stable kind of life, otherwise they would be living in the city and making proper money. Instead, they are on the mountains, earning little money and having loads of fun. Stability is not included here.
5. THEY ARE FREE SPIRITS
If they decide their next destination is somewhere far and you don’t want to join their trip, well… it might happen that there won’t be a spot in their suitcase for a phone charger to make sure they answer all your whatsapp messages. If they move somewhere else and you don’t come along, it’s over. Accept this and move on. They like it ‘here’ and ‘now’, nothing else.
6. THEIR TRUE LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE THEIR BOARD
Remember it very well: when they have to decide whether to go on a romantic dinner and a night out, or to wake up at 5am the following morning to drive 2 hours to ride the freshest powder of the season… I’m sorry, but your plan won’t stand a chance! You must understand that whether your crush is a jibber, slopestyler, freerider or they just like sliding down the piste, there is one common holly thing for all of them: FRESH POWDER! Phones will be off because there are “no friends on powder days”. Their relationship status is unimportant on a powder day. They will only care about their board, the mountain and their riding buddies. Forget about them until all the fresh lines are destroyed.
Jealousy, new crushes, different trips, different people all the time, new girls, new boys… Dating a snowboarder is a constant drama. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved.
8. THEY MOVE WITH THE SEASONS
It’s the end of the season and you’re totally in love with your season hookup, who also happens to be an experienced seasoner. ERROR. They will leave and forget about you, and you will get annoyed, and they will get all weirded out when you call them to ask for explanations after they share their next Instagram Stories back in their hometown with certain “friends/ex friends”. It’s over. “Season is over, relationship is over”. Don’t waste your time with a snowboarder. They are free animals and they move with the seasons, when they pack their bags, they leave every unnecessary drama behind. So, that includes their hookup too.
9. THEY DON’T HAVE MONEY
You come for the money? Don’t even try. Even if they seem like they have it, they are all broke, All Of Them! And they would rather have less money to enjoy more park or powder days than having any unnecessary luxuries outside of the snowboarding world. You’ll find yourself eating a lot of pasta with tomato sauce or being the money maker of the couple. Your choice.
If they are the kind of people that don’t even work during the season, don’t trust the typical “I made money before the season” sentence. It is not true. That only means one thing: “My parents still pay for all my shit and I’m here being a lazy ass that’s too good to live in the real world”. And those are the worst kind, they will probably end up sucking all your blood and money before you even realise. Our advice: run away from them.
10. SERIOUSLY, THEY ARE BROKE!
But not everything is bad about them. If you are reading this because you are a snowboarder yourself, that changes the whole game. If you both snowboard, Congrats! You might be the perfect match and live your own version of the “Happily Ever After”. You will always have a partner in crime for every single one of your favorite adventures standing sideways. Both of you are free spirits, moving with the seasons and moving from town to town, life is great and fun. Money will be the main struggle. Other than that, go ahead, it can be a great combination!
First Chair, last call.
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